Beautiful Silence


My Dear Son,

Last Friday, I put you to sleep and then hurriedly went to the bathroom and performed wudu, fearing you might wake up and scream upon not finding me. Alhamdulilah, I completed my wudu and you were still sleeping. I then started my salah, still nervous that you might wake while I’m performing salah, demand my attention and make it difficult for me to concentrate… You woke, came to my room (we leave the doors slightly ajar so it’s easy for you to get out and find us), I got nervous that you’d scream and then climb my back, my head and interrupt my focus. You didn’t. Instead, you tugged at my abayah,  said “Mama”, saw you weren’t getting a response (I think you know that when I’m in salah, I can’t talk to you) and then quietly lied down next to me. You were so still, I wasn’t sure if you were sleeping or not. As soon as I ended my salah and said salam, I looked to my left and saw you peacefully asleep. I just cried. I don’t know why. Maybe because of the realisation of what it means to be a mother… the difficulties, the frustration, the exhaustion, the patience and impatience, the sheer joy, and the reward of completing my salah and seeing you sleeping silently next to me, on my musallah. What a beautiful picture that was!

With love,

Mommy

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2 thoughts on “Beautiful Silence

  1. This is so beautiful. Ma sha Allah. So very touching. The image of him doing that, coming to you so sweetly, tugging at you, and then quietly putting his head down and falling asleep… beautiful. Makes me want to cry too. May Allah increase you in your patience and help you to be the best mother you can be to your son, amin.

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