My Dear Son,
As I sit here, squeezing in some writing time on my phone, you are fast asleep in my arms after a bit of screaming and moaning. I know I should put you down now so that you do not get too comfortable in my arms but sometimes I’m so comfortable having you in my arms that it’s difficult to release that snug embrace when I have the time to sit with you, like now. But it’s not fair to confuse you like that, I know. I do it a lot in the middle of the night though, despite myself. Nights become long and tiring sometimes and neither of us will get any sleep otherwise. Sometimes, while feeding you, I just doze off, and, before I know it, you’ve fallen asleep on the breast! Some nights I don’t even remember you waking up or picking you up or feeding you, but somehow you’re sleeping at the breasts!
You’re so small and there is so much ahead of you, so many decisions your father and I will have to make for you, but, already, it’s difficult to always know what’s the right thing to do as your mother. Should I let you have your way and sleep at the breasts or am I spoiling you? Should I train you to have better, healthier sleep patterns or should I let you get to that point in your own time, even if that time is at 2 or 3 years old? Should I strictly control what I feed you or should I let you just enjoy the sweet stuff while you’re so small? Anything to just get you to eat? Will it be too late to curb your sweet tooth when you’re a toddler? I often find my mind wandering to the days of the Prophet (SAW) and the sahaba and sahabiyah. I wonder how they dealt with their babies’ sleep and feeding challenges. May Allah, Most Merciful, help your father and I to make the right decisions throughout your precious life. Ameen.